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  • Hamuko Hoshi: Queen of Cake, Queen of Pain, and the Last of the Lovely Butchers

Hamuko Hoshi: Queen of Cake, Queen of Pain, and the Last of the Lovely Butchers

Posted on July 25, 2025 By admin No Comments on Hamuko Hoshi: Queen of Cake, Queen of Pain, and the Last of the Lovely Butchers
Women's Wrestling

In a wrestling world that often craves chiseled abs and camera-ready smiles, Hamuko Hoshi waddled down the ramp like your favorite aunt at karaoke night — bubbly, boisterous, built like a bento box, and twice as dangerous. She wasn’t there to dazzle. She was there to devour. And somewhere between the body slams and the butt bumps, she became one of the most enduring pillars of Ice Ribbon — a one-woman food fight with suplexes.

Trained by the always brilliant Emi Sakura, Hoshi debuted in 2008 looking more like the crowd’s favorite mom than a rising star. She wrestled three-minute exhibition matches against names like Makoto and Haruna Akagi, using her short stature (4’11”) and compact power to her advantage. She wasn’t a prodigy. She was persistence in pigtails — losing more than she won early, but never once looking like she didn’t belong. The fans saw it. The locker room felt it.

By 2010, she found her rhythm and her first title. Teamed with Hiroyo Matsumoto under the team name “Meat Monsters” — and no, that wasn’t a typo — Hoshi started carving her legacy. She wasn’t just a comedy act. She was dangerous. She fused plucky charisma with a legit power base, flattening foes and flattening expectations. A butt drop here, a German suplex there, and suddenly she was a threat to everyone in the locker room — even if she looked more like someone you’d share udon with than fight for your life against.

Her feud-turned-friendship with Mochi Miyagi became one of joshi’s most delightfully absurd love stories. Together they formed Team Sexy, a tag team name that was either ironic or terrifying, depending on which side of the mat you stood. Rebranded as the Lovely Butchers, they crushed gender norms and tag teams with equal ferocity. They even managed to dethrone some all-male tag teams — turning their own soft bellies into battering rams and their chemistry into a full-blown riot.

But Hoshi was never just a tag-team clown. Beneath the sparkles and singing voice (yes, she released a gravure DVD titled Lovely Monster), Hoshi was a workhorse. She took on everyone — from the technical darlings like Hikaru Shida to the bruisers like Hailey Hatred. She even formed stables, lost weight to qualify for title shots, and wrestled with a kind of warmth and tenacity you couldn’t teach.

She failed often — dropped title shots, lost tournament matches, came up short in classics — but like a good soufflé, she always rose again.

And then came the cherry on top: ICE×∞ Champion. December 31, 2015 — Hoshi shocked everyone by pinning Aoi Kizuki and capturing the top belt in Ice Ribbon. It was her Cinderella moment — except instead of a glass slipper, it was a sweaty singlet and a title belt wedged between her shoulder blades.

She defended it with guts, with girth, with grit — taking down her longtime partner Miyagi, then the prodigy Tsukushi, before finally falling to Risa Sera. It didn’t matter. She had already won. She had outlasted the doubters, the smirks, the scale.

And if you thought that was it? Think again. In 2017, Hamuko did what no one saw coming: she teamed with her daughter.

That’s right. Ibuki Hoshi made her debut in the same ring her mother had spent a decade conquering, and together they challenged for tag team gold. They didn’t win, but it didn’t matter. It was legacy in motion. It was the past tagging in the future. It was a mother handing down the bodyslam torch with pride and potato chips.

For over 15 years, Hamuko Hoshi has been joshi’s smiling tank — the lovable menace who always showed up, always gave it her all, and never stopped being herself. While others transformed into sleek machines, she remained gloriously Hamuko — soft, strong, stubborn, and impossible to ignore.

She wasn’t a supermodel. She wasn’t a high-flyer. She was a body slam with bangs and a heart full of fire.

And in the end, that made her the most beautiful butcher of all.

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